In couples therapy we work on trust, intimacy, differences, sexuality, conflict, and styles of communication. I offer a positive approach to relationships that increases individuals’ and couples’ capacities to respect and understand interpersonal differences and to build richer connections. The safety of the therapy relationship allows couples to become more open and vulnerable. This allows us to look together at the couple’s difficulties with compassionate curiosity. We explore how both individual’s histories show up in the present and affects the couple’s relationship. We discover how a couple interacts moment to moment, and uncover patterns of relating. Each partner gains awareness of these dynamics, and develops new skills to help the couple’s relationship become more strong, connected, healthy, and satisfying.
I work with partners in many kinds of relationships: heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual; from similar cultural backgrounds or cross-cultural ones; married or living together or dating; separating or divorced. I also counsel relationship partners who are family members, such as a mother and daughter, as well as friends seeking to improve their friendship.
We may discuss:
- Lack of intimacy
- Inability to talk about difficulties
- Fighting
- Parenting
- Affairs
- Decision-making
- How past affects present
- Gender dynamics
- Differences in values, religion, or beliefs
- Goals and dreams for the future
- Couples therapy can help:
- Build trust
- Increase intimacy
- Heal wounds from the past
- Decrease ineffective fighting
- Develop abilities to understand oneself and one’s partner
- Foster partners’ skill in facing difficulties together
- Increase couples’ teamwork with each other
- Promote closeness and fun